Two New Friends and Unsettled Souls

Every dog I had ever gotten was a puppy, at least until three days ago. Growing up we had two Labrador retrievers, Rance and Maggie.

My dad brought them home from a family friends house, and he trained them and worked with them to make them hunting dogs. Rance was a great hunting dog. I don't remember a single time either of those dogs ever snapped at anyone. Well, besides the time Rance, in his old age, thought that Dad was a burglar and he needed to protect me in the middle of the night. Even that didn't last long once Rance knew it was Dad and not some crazy man trying to hurt us. Rance and Maggie passed away when I was in college, and when I got out of college I decided I wasn't going to get a dog until I could care for it the way that Dad had always cared for those two labs. So, when I lived in an apartment I didn't get a dog, and when I got married I didn't get a dog. I moved to a new state and still held off getting a dog.

Well, this week, I rescued a dog. My husband and I named her Nova. Our first few days with Nova were extremely rough emotionally for all of us. Obviously for Nova, she was in a new place with new people. She had just traveled 260 miles and she had already bonded with the ladies at the shelter. She had thought that was her new home, but now she was somewhere new and she had again been "betrayed" by people she had trusted. Now I don't know whether or not Nova was abused in her previous home or whether she is hesitant of females in general, but Nova did not like me. She didn't want to play with me, she didn't want love from me, and she certainly didn't want to do what I told her to. She would growl at me and try to bite me, none of this she exhibited before we adopted her. She had seemed like a loving, sweet, playful pup, but I was quickly learning otherwise and it scared me.

So for the first day Nova was here I got her to lay down and go to sleep, but I was afraid of getting bitten so I did everything I could not to have to discipline her, and I just watched her. I was a nervous wreck worried that we were going to have to take her back to the shelter where she had definitely been more comfortable.

On day two, I was scared of my husband leaving for work, I didn't want to be left alone all day with a dog that didn't like me. We started the day with a walk, she loved it. we had breakfast and my husband left for work. Then the crying began, she thought my husband was abandoning her with me and she hated every minute of it. I was scared too, I knew it wasn't helping her feelings any but I didn't know what to do, so I took her to the backyard to try and play fetch with her. Nova brought the ball back twice before she didn't want to play anymore and weaseled her way under the porch. I called and called to her to come out but to no avail. She was hunkered down.

Once I got her out from under the porch I tried to clean the mud off of her but she hated me for it even more so I grabbed the leash and we went for another walk. The only part of day two that she enjoyed. we came home from the walk and resumed our respective places in the living room.. me praying that my husband wouldn't have to work late.

My husband got home around five and Nova barked and wagged her tail and was so happy to see him... immediately I felt both relief and jealousy wash over me. I didn't care that she liked him more, I cared that she didn't want anything to do with me and I was the whole reason she was even here; but obviously she doesn't know that. I got up, I made dinner, and around bedtime, I was so distraught that I was ready to load her up and take her right back to the shelter we'd gotten her from. I cried and bawled worried what other people would think of me, me a person who LOVES dogs and would never want to give one away. I cried worrying about whether or not I was a horrible terrible person for being afraid and jealous of a dog. I cried worried that I wasn't ready to be a dog owner, and I cried and I cried and I cried. My husband all the way making me feel seen and loved and just wanting me to be happy; he listened and he believed that Nova and I just need time.

Day Three, Nova's first act of rebellion she tried to jump up into the bed on top of me. I instinctively threw my arms up to block my face which in turn knocked Nova to the ground. I was scared again, and not at all ready to face another day with her all alone. So, my husband tried something new. He took Nova to the backyard and put her on a long leash. Long enough that she had free rein of the yard but short enough that she couldn't get herself wedged under the porch again. He came back inside and told me to just leave her out there. He said, "Go out and play with her. Love on her every hour or so, and then if you get too overwhelmed come inside and leave her out there. She's a dog, she needs to get used to the yard anyway. She has food and water and tennis balls, she'll be okay." So that's what I did. I went outside and I took treats and we played fetch, I even got her to eat an entire bowl of food! It was working!! I had hated that I had to have someone tell me what to do with a dog. I had known and loved dogs my entire life! But, I had never known a dog like this.

At noon, I had to leave the house for an appointment, so I left Nova outside. I was happy she was getting fresh air, and I was scared to put her in her kennel where she would feel like I was putting her in doggie jail and try to bite me again. So, I went to my appointment. When I finished up with that I found out that it had started sprinkling, so I went to the local Rural King, grabbed a dog bed and hurried home where I knew that Nova was waiting for me, probably soaked.. I kept trying to ease myself by saying "She's a dog, she loves water, it's just a little rain." but I still felt bad inside.

When I got home Nova was soaked and she was not happy. I brought her inside dried her off as best I could and showed her the new dog bed that I had gotten her. She loved it and I was happy for the win. We waited for my husband to get home and were both relieved when he got here, but I was chalking day three up as a win. Until Nova tried to bite me again for putting her in her kennel to go to bed.

Today is day four and I am still a little uneasy, but assuredly so. My best friends have told me their rescue dog stories, all dogs that I happen to know and love, who all learned and know that they have found good homes. All I can hope now is that someday Nova won't think that I am a terrible human and she'll be more comfortable around me. For now I am enjoying the small wins. The fact that she loves her bed, listens to my husband when she needs to, is eating, and is pooping solid.

And shoutout to my husband, a good, solid man, who truly believes that everything is going to get better between me and my new best friend with time.

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